Krissy's Digest...

A few months passed without hearing anything about him. Then, at my birthday celebration, he called. Greeted me a happy birthday. I was surprised. I didn't expect him to ever contact me again. How did he know my number? Oh yeah, my cousin is his friend... I never knew that it was the start of an everyday call marathon.

We are calling each other up almost everyday. Only stopping when we sleep, eat and took a bath. We we're constantly talking about a lot of things. We had become very good friends. He was telling me things about his girlfriend and I am also talking to him about my current relationship. We talked about everything... Until we both felt different about each other. We both felt guilty, so we decided to stop talking to each other for a month. See what we really feel towards each other.

It hurts like there's a dagger in my heart. I am trying not to call him. By doing this, i am hurting myself. I didn't know he was also feeling the same way. He called me right back saying that he can't do it. He misses me already. I told him, I feel the same way too. So, now what? We knew right then, we were falling in love. But we are both involved with someone else. We continued talking...

Every morning when i wake up, i smile. Because, i know there is a text message for me that came from him. I look forward each day when i wake up, because i know I'll be happy again. Then he told me one day that he had broken up with his girlfriend. I told him, why? He said he loves someone else. It is actually like puppy love. With all the chills in the spine. I don't know what to say.

I feel bad for his girlfriend. But I also know that their relationship is not that good anymore. They keep on fighting. I told him if they could still fix it, he must fix it. He said, no, it is over. So i was left with a dilemma. I was still very much with my boyfriend, but i don't love him anymore. He is also cheating on me.

John and i, even if we're not yet together, we we're acting like we are already a couple. Eventually, I left my boyfriend. But John and i we're still not together. And i am a bit confused. Because I know we really love each other.

Day’s and weeks passed. We are always talking, but deep inside my thoughts, i am so sad. I asked myself. Why haven't he asked me yet? It's like a formality right? A boy should ask if you would already be a couple. Especially when you are not seeing each other in person. This made me feel really upset.

I tried to pick fights. At one point I told him I don't want him to call me again. He cried. He told me i just need to wait, that he needs to think it over... Think it over? Meaning he is not yet sure... That was a big blow.

I didn't answer his calls. He tried writing emails, but to no avail. I was just out of coverage. Then he asked his friend to come over at my house. He tricked me, because he called at his friend’s cell phone and talked to me. I was cornered. I love him so much that I just accepted him back. And I told myself, I won't care anymore if we we're a couple or not. As long as I know i am happy.

A month of bliss passed. We we're still not a couple. But I learn not to think of it anymore. One day, we were talking on the phone at 9pm. Then suddenly he dropped the call and didn't call back. I tried calling him, but his phone was turned off. Confused, i tried calling his friends. But they too won't answer. I was fuming mad. Then at exactly 12:00 am, he called and shouted, I LOVE YOU NICOLE! He kept on repeating it.

It is the first time he said i love you. Because he vowed not to say it until he is ready for a commitment. Then he told me of how long he really wants to say that he love's me, but held back. Because he wants our anniversary to be dated August 14th. Silly man. Silly, but really romantic.

I was in cloud 9. We we're finally a couple. Everyday is like a new day. I just keep on smiling. My friends notice the changes in me. They say I look younger, happier. I can't complain. It's true, I am really happy. For the first time, in all the failed relationships, I feel born again.

TO BE CONTINUED...

In Her Memory...

April 2007 I bought a dog at a pet shop. She was already 3 months old at that time. We named her Missy. Because i love pet names ending in sy or ie... At first she was just in the corner, sitting, staring at us. Like, she was observing all of our moves.

I researched a lot about taking care of a rottweiler. Some say, they are a very dangerous breed. That they would hurt people and would suddenly attack. So i really took care of her. Showed her all the love she needs. She even sleeps in my room.

After a month, we bought another dog. A chow chow, we named Chowie. She was the opposite. She was always moving and very stubborn. Then our old dog marina gave birth. So we have a whole lot of puppies in the house. Everyday is a different experience with them. I bathe them, walk them, and take them to the vet. All my stress is gone ones I sit and play with them.

Months passed by, both Missy and Chowie are all grown up. They play with each other...I call it rough play, cause they are really biting each other so hard that I thought one would be injured. Missy is such a bright dog. I trained her to wait, sit, lie down, fetch, a lot of cool tricks that i thought she wouldn't learn. She is so sweet. When I arrive from a day of hard work, she would come and lick my face and jump very high. She loves to be hugged all the time. A bit possessive, she wants me all to herself.

So, life's always had been like that. Then I had to let them stay at the farm. Cause i have to move and the new house don't have a big lawn for them to play. I left them there temporarily until I can find a new place for us. Everything was fine. The dogs are already staying there for almost a month.

April 23, 2008. I have received 2 calls... One from my mom, saying, that our house was on fire. The other one, from Edward, telling me that Missy died... I don't know how to process all of those things said to me. I am on shock with the house burning and i am deeply hurt with the sudden passing of Missy. I heard she was poisoned. Maybe people were afraid of her. And they poisoned her.

How could someone do this to a very loving animal? I am still hurt. I didn't even get to see her because they buried her already. I can't get to the farm quick because it is a 4 hr drive. But she will be always in my heart.

She will always be in my thoughts... I'm just glad; I get to have a dog as sweet and loving as my Missy...

You will be missed..... I love you so much....

It was the most complicated time of my life. I didn't know that it would be the start of the happiest time in my life. My cousin invited me and my best friend Ace to a bar. So we dressed up (I was a little boyish at that time, so i wear boyish clothes). Ace is a lesbian. I met her when i joined the basketball team at our school in college. Ever since, we have treated each other like sisters (I love her dearly). So, let’s go back to my story. As we were about to go, Yeng my cousin, told us to wait because someone’s picking us up. So we waited. Then at one moment that i couldn't explain, i felt really nervous. My hands were cold. We heard a knock on the door, Yeng opened it. There he was, Yeng's friend from high school, John. I had this major crush on him way way back before. I was totally speechless. I didn't expect to see him because I know he was studying in Manila at that time. So, that explains my sudden nervousness. I tried to keep my cool as we were going towards her car. I am very silent throughout the night. I discovered that he hasn't changed. He has become this very popular guy in their school. He's the star player of the basketball team at a very prestigious school. And yet, he is still so humble and incredibly gorgeous. As the night was about to end, John took us all home. We were just casual all night so i thought we were all going straight home. But he said, wait i want to hear you sing. Yeng said you're a really good singer. I blushed... And again, no words were coming out from my mouth. So John decided we go to a videoke place. We circled the city but all places were closed. I felt relieved. Yes! We are finally going home, but then he said, I won't go home if i don't get to hear you sing. So, all of them we're teasing the two of us cause he was also blushing. Yeng and Ace, told me, sing already, what would you lose? He wants to hear your voice... So, i sang... And he kept on staring at me. As if I was going to melt. Then he held my hand and said, wow, your voice makes me fall in love with you. I just smiled. Finally John took us all home. When we were getting near our house. He went down of his car and shouted, Nicole, can I kiss you? I ran.... I felt really stupid, but that's what I did....

TO BE CONTINUED......